Sagging Skin and Cellulite: Coffee Oil

Guys, I was horrified to find out that the skin all over my body is STARTING TO SAG! Or HAS been sagging. Or something. I never noticed this until I was trying some things on in the mall the other day. Someone should tell Frederick (of Hollywood) that he'd sell a lot more of that shit if he turned the flourescent lights in the dressing rooms DOWN A NOTCH!


Anyhoo, yes. I'm not posting any "before" pictures because I'm not going to sacrifice my one remaining shred of dignity to you people. Let's just say I'm 49 years old, have recently (five years ago) had a baby, and have also recently (like, recently) lost maybe 25 or 30 pounds. 

So now I'm looking for ways to perk up my body! What you want to do is moisturize, tighten, and blast the area with rejuvenating anti-oxidants. I'm going to try a few things:

1. Dry brushing every day. I started this today, and it feels awesome. I'll do a whole post on this soon.
2. Coffee ground scrub on problem areas (thighs, butt, stomach, breasts, upper arms. Damn.).
3. Tightening and rejuvenating coffee body oil!

So caffeine is supposed to help tighten skin. You can infuse any kind of oil with coffee, but I chose a blend of oils with great anti-aging anti-oxidant properties. Here's how I made the oil:


EDITED TO ADD A NOTE TO YOU ALL! This stuff is WICKED STRONG! I applied this all over my body after my morning shower at 10 am. My heart was racing and I was shaking from caffeine by 11 am. I could still feel it at 8:00 that night. I advise you to dilute.

On the plus side, I did a lot of stuff: cleaned the whole house; did all the laundry; cleaned out the yard; did an hour of yoga; did three 1.5-minute long planks; jumped on the trampoline for hours with my son; hula-hooped for a long time; plus a lot of other hamster-on-a-wheel type stuff.

Ingredients

• 2 cups dry coffee grounds (organic, dark roast. I don't know if this is what I was supposed to use, but that's what I had. I've seen a lot of recipes with green coffee, too)
• 10 ounces hemp oil
• 2 ounces vitamin E oil
• 1 ounce vitamin A (fat soluble)
• 3 ounces coconut oil
• 4 ounces vanilla-infused sweet almond oil

I used a 20 or so ounce mason jar to mix these in.

How to Make It

First, pour in the coffee grounds, then cover with all this other stuff. Let sit on a countertop for at least a couple of days. I think you could let this sit for weeks, and it would just get better and better. Shake the jar every few days.

Since I made mine with hemp oil, this will be a little more volatile, meaning its shelf life is fairly short at room temperature. I'm leaving this on a countertop for a week (so the coconut oil is liquid and can accept the coffee), then I'm going to leave it in the fridge.

Strain the oil through a fine strainer and pour oil into a container for use. Keep in fridge!

wicked dank stuff.

This stuff SMELLS CRAZY! It's very concentrated. You may want to dilute this with some almond or hemp oil (like, half and half or something). The smell does get fainter after an hour or so on your skin. It definitely smells like very strong coffee. I like it. My man does not.

How to Use

Rub this on your problem areas after bathing. Massage it in. Feel the tightening begin! 


Miri